We might be limiting the possibilities in how we think about arousal. It’s not always about lace and low lighting.

Sometimes arousal is spurred by a freshly folded towel. Or the sound of a well-timed I already took care of it.

When your partner does laundry without being asked. Or the thrill of hearing the dishwasher hum to life after dinner, because they saw the mess and handled it. Not for validation. Just because.

Some other unsexy things that turn me on…

• When you listen —the first time.
• Circling back for the emotional clean up.
• Grace offered freely when I stumble.
• Not being rushed.
• Aftercare after a hard conversation.

In these seasoned years, my arousal is less commercial and more presence. Unrushed. Witnessed. Quietly tended to,

Turns out, the real turn-on is being understood.

We were conditioned to believe that we need grand gestures to be desired. But these days, refilling the kettle makes me hot. When he texts to say he made it home safe, without me needing to ask.

Unsexy, but deeply intimate. That’s the kind of desire that doesn’t fade. It multiples.

In heat,

P.S. - This 👇🏾 Allison Russell - Superlover ft. Annie Lennox​

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