"I haven't been hugged in three months," she said quietly. "I don't miss sex. I miss being held."

I felt her words. I’ve been there.

Touch is too often tangled up with desire and expectation. But what about the kind of touch that asks for nothing in return?

Sometimes our bodies simply craves warmth. A hand resting on your shoulder. Fingers lazily intertwined with yours. Being pulled into someone's chest, where you can hear their heartbeat—no strings attached.

When was the last time you experienced touch like that?

Not as foreplay or obligation—just the comfort of another human, offering their presence to yours?

Our skin hungers, whether we admit it or not. We mistake it for sexual desire (sometimes it is). But more often it’s primal—confirmation that we exist beyond our thoughts, that we're still here in the physical world.

While I did not grow up in a blatantly affectionate community, platonic touch was normal. Braiding each other's hair while watching TV. Falling asleep with heads in laps. Laughing so hard that we’d collapse into one another.

Back then, I had no idea how precious that was.

Being untouched leaves a mark. Our nervous system tightens, we struggle with dis-ease, and we begin to wither inside. The loneliness seeps in through the skin first.

But we push through, don't we? Convincing ourselves it's not essential. But touch sustains us as surely as food and water.

This week, I’m inviting you to acknowledge your skin hunger—without shame, without dismissing it as trivial or needy.

Notice where your body longs to be touched in ways that have nothing to do with sex.

Is it your scalp, craving fingers running through your hair?
​Your feet, tired from carrying the load?
Your hand, empty of another's?

Then, consider being brave enough to ask for it—from a friend who gives the best hugs, a family member who's always had safe arms, a professional (massage therapists are miracle workers), or even a pet (often our most reliable sources of unconditional touch).

If asking feels impossible right now, offer that tenderness to yourself. Feel your own heartbeat beneath your palm. Massage your own shoulders with attentive hands. Wrap your arms around yourself— as a genuine act of care.

The body doesn't always know the difference between your touch and another's. But it always knows when it's being loved.

Where do you need to be held right now?

With love and open arms,

P.S. In Your Bones - Olive Fern​

May you know in your bones that this earth is your home.

May you feel in your soul you are worthy and whole.

May you know in your bones that this earth is your home.

May you feel that you belong.
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