Sometimes I don’t realize that I’m time-traveling until my partner is mid-stroke.

That might be a little TMI, but stay with me.

I’m talking about being naked with the person I deeply love, while being completely checked-the-f*ck out. Mind all over the place.

Did I reply in the group chat?
Should I start making oat milk?

It’s sneaky, the way we ghost ourselves. All it takes is a single thought to vamoose.

And I’ve got a million excuses. “I’m tired” or “not really in the mood.” But a lot of the time, I’ve just left the room. Half in my body. Half in my never-ending to-do list. Then I have the audacity to wonder why the sex isn’t hitting the spot.

I could question whether the chemistry is still there. But a better question is whether I’m still there. And if I have to ask, it’s a pretty good sign that I’m not.

So I’ve started treating sex like meditation. When I catch myself in the act of leaving, I gently come back. Back to feeling hands on skin. Back to breath. Back to sensation. Back to the arms of my lover.

This week on the podcast, I’m talking about how presence can make sex mo’ better.

If this rings your bell (or calls you in with love), you can check it out wherever you get your podcasts.

And if you feel like sharing, hit reply and tell me one way you notice yourself leaving the room. It doesn’t have to be about sex, but if it is… don’t be explicit (please and thank you). I read every response.

In the room,

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