The other day, I had a deeply intimate conversation with a near stranger. Near, because I’d talked to her once before in the doctor’s office waiting room..

I asked her how she'd been. And she almost lied, but then decided against it.

“Unmotivated. Exhausted. Barely keeping it together,” she said.

“I totally get that.”

She shared how she’d agreed to let her ex recover from gallstone surgery at her house. And how it was okay at first, until the things that plagued their relationship magically reappeared. Power dynamics. Boundary violations. Sarcasm. The whole nine.

And of course she’s feeling whelmed by the state of the world and the responsibilities of being a single mom, keeping all the balls in the air, all while trying to give the appearance of having her shit together.

So I asked, "What are you doing to nurture yourself?"

She looked surprised, maybe startled, and then her eyes welled, and her nose pinked, and she started to cry.

Then she apologized. “I’m sorry. I know you didn’t ask to hear all this,” she sniffed.

“I wouldn't have asked how you've been if I didn't really want to know.”

Her smile reached her red-rimmed eyes. I could tell she hadn’t been honest (out loud) about her overfull plate in a long time. And I was grateful to be a witness.

She said she needed to cry. Which I totally get. I know exactly what that feels like. I also know the relief of release.

And so she agreed to put it on the schedule. Yes, crying on the schedule.

This Thursday at 2:30. Enough time to wail and weep before her daughter gets home from school.

I think it'll be good. She does too.

Lifeing can be a lot.

And sometimes it’s easier to be transparent with a stranger than it is with the people we share our lives with. Mostly because relationships are multi-taskers. Containers for so many things. Shaped by responsibility, expectations, and social conditions. Personalities, ideologies, agreements, spoken and unspoken.

And often, while beautiful, those things can be barriers to intimacy.

But it’s also true we can have a deeply intimate connection with someone we’ve only known for five minutes and may never see again.

And that's okay.

We always get exactly what we need, exactly when we need it.

That's what I told her before we said goodbye.

In it together,

Latest on the Pod:

• ​Their Touch Shouldn't Disgust You​
• ​Predictability Might Be F*cking up Your Sex Life​

If you don't want to receive emails about the podcast but still want to continue receiving emails for other enriching offerings and insights, you can opt out by clicking this link.​